Illusions of Perfection
Life isn’t perfect. Not how we were raised, not the people we engage with, not how we expect things to go, not us, and not even our perception of who we think God is. Yet, we continue to set up illusions of perfection we hold as standards or expectations that neither life, people not even we ourselves are able meet. The results of this mindset leads to anxiety, constant irritation, depression, anger and fear. When we are not able to accept reality for what it is, we are operating from an insecurity we accept as our home base, whether we realize it or not. We are afraid to accept this truth because we inaccurately see the imperfections of life as less valuable than what they really are.
Human beings do not like to have unanswered questions or blank spaces of thought. So, we answer the questions with what we think are rational concepts and fill in the spaces with assumptions or denials based on fear. We create illusions or dreams, as Don Miguel Luis, Sr., of the Four Agreements, says. Those illusions, guided by our ego, support a false identity of who we think we are and an inaccurate perception of our world.
We become so attached to these illusions, that we look for people and life circumstances around us to support our delusions. When they don’t, we either find fault with the people, circumstances, or say it wasn’t meant to be. We may even continue on pretending what’s happening isn’t really happening.
The awakening from our slumber to accept the unwanted reality we are experiencing, is a journey. It is a process that must become a way of life, a mindful living we must become open to in order to stop ourselves from continuous manipulation by others and our own egos. Here is an example of that journey of acceptance process I recommend:
Awareness: Be mindful of what you are experiencing both externally and internally without judgment.
Acknowledgement: Express what you are thinking and feeling about what you perceive is happening. Again, no judgment.
Authentication: Take three deep breaths, step away physically (if you can) and mentally from the situation. Do some positive self-affirmation. Remind yourself of who you are as a child of the Divine. These affirmations are not merely based on WHAT you do, i.e., skill-sets, material gains or accomplishments. They are about WHO you are, i.e., I am worthy of love and affection, I am no accident, I am a child of God. This allows you to disconnect from the old meanings and attachments you operated out of, facilitated by your ego.
Appreciation: From your authentic being, take three deep breaths, become mindful of and acknowledge the good within the current situation, no matter how small. Don’t allow your ego to make excuses to not do this. When you do so, you are feeding a false self that gives an impression you are looking out for you.
Acceptance: Now, from your authentic space choose to accept the situation as it is, as you are being mindful as a creator rather than a victim. You cannot move on successfully without this step.
Adaptation or Adjustment: Once you have begun the process of acceptance, in the words of Bruce Lee, “Be water my friend.” This is the completion of the acceptance process. Here you adapt to the current reality for what it is, rather from the ego-based meanings and attachments you gave to it. Doing so, you are able to operate from your authentic space without allowing what’s happening on the outside to change you or influence to betray yourself. Any changes to your circumstances, can now take place from a healthy you, and not motivated by insecurity or fear.
If you choose not to follow this process or one